Spring Break Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Get What You Want
Ah, Spring Break. Those wonderful words bring up images of the Bahamas, cruises, Destin, tanned ladies and lads, enough booze to leave frat parties in the dust, and parties—on beaches, in clubs, in bars (especially the one where you lose your fake), in hotel rooms—Spring Break is one big pre-summer, essentially. Since it’s only a week, and once you get back you actually have to use your brain again (sad thought, and no, I’m not thinking about it either), you have to carefully pack and plan ahead. Sometimes, however, we don’t always come up with all the right necessities. Thus, ...
“Don’t be that guy!”
So I was working out at the gym the other evening when the King of the Douche Bags graced us with his presence. Now don’t get me wrong, there are generally loads of piss-ant douche bags at the gym who like to like strut around like little peacocks playing the “who has the biggest dick now?” game with their amounts of pounds lifted. My work out buddy and I aren’t allowed to play this game, as we can’t compete with some of those douche-dudes who can lift more than quadruple my body weight with their nose-wiggle muscles. However, I am ...
From The Editor
Gold Medals? Meh.
I am glad the Olympics are over. Now, don’t get me wrong—I love the obnoxious...
Editor Update
Everybody rags on Valentine’s Day as being a Hallmark-produced, candy-coated, pseudo-genuine...
Llamapalooza– you should give us money
¬ Llamas are wonderful animals. They provide meat, transportation, and their...
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Top Ten
Top 10 things you would never want to hear your girlfriend say…
10. I really miss standing up to pee. 9. Nope, that’s the wrong hole. 8. You...
Top 10: Worst Baby Names
10. L—A 9. !!! (Pronounced as three clicks) 8. Window 7. Jesus Condom 6. Orangejello 5....
Top 10 Things The Slant is Thankful For
Top Ten things The Slant is thankful for: 10. Ahhh we finally get a break from...
Top 10 Things You Did Over Fall Break
10. Roamed campus scouring for food. 9. Slept m0re than my goddamn roommate does. 8....
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Articles
How to Win the Dorm Energy Competition: Save and SabotageMost people can agree that saving the Earth is important. We can all relate to the rallying cry of “going green.” Breast Cancer Awareness has taken over the color pink, Livestrong has laid claim to the color yellow, and Gay Pride, in a joke shamelessly stolen from comedian Demetri Martin, has appropriated the entire color spectrum. For those people... [Read more of this review]
Motorcade Madness
While the protest with the Vanderbilt Students for Nonviolence (VSN) raged outside the SLC, the real insanity started only after General Petraeus had left the stage. A group of us freedom fighters were walking back to Towers after making our voices heard when we were attacked! It all happened so fast, but I remember that we had just started crossing... [Read more of this review]
Death By Chocolate!
¬Vanderbilt University, the 16th best University in the galaxy, has recently unveiled a touching and emotional piece of visual art in the venerable Rand Dining Hall that will most surely cause its students to stop, pause, and think during their daily trifles, as well as to question the great ontological issues of modern man. The mural had been hidden... [Read more of this review]
Sports that Aren’t Olympic Sports, but Should be
During every Olympic season, there are always several questions about the interesting array of sports that come up. What exactly is skeleton? How exactly does one Curl? More importantly, if these seemingly random sports can be considered Olympic sports, why can’t we add a few more? Here are a few ideas for some more competitive games to compete in: Quidditch Quidditch... [Read more of this review]
Spring Break Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Get What You Want
Ah, Spring Break. Those wonderful words bring up images of the Bahamas, cruises, Destin, tanned ladies and lads, enough booze to leave frat parties in the dust, and parties—on beaches, in clubs, in bars (especially the one where you lose your fake), in hotel rooms—Spring Break is one big pre-summer, essentially. Since it’s only a week, and once... [Read more of this review]
So Far Gone is How I’ll be at Rites of Spring
The Rites of Spring line up has been announced: Ben Harper and the Relentless7, Melanie Fiona, Doug E. Fresh, Passion Pit, Cold War Kids, and Drake. Wait! Drake…as in Drake Bell from Drake and Josh or Francis Drake, the swashbuckling pirate of the seven seas. If you were thinking any of the above, you were wrong. The Drake performing at Rites... [Read more of this review]
Winter Olympics experience Seasonal Affective Disorder
A petition filed by a grassroots international coalition to move the Winter Olympics to a more favorable season, Spring, has been voted on and approved by the International Olympic Committee. Although general initial response was surprise and dismay, upon further consideration fans, athletes and television networks are excited. “Honestly, it’s... [Read more of this review]
How to be a bad parent: An insider’s guide on how to make your kid a delinquent
Recently, I’ve seen a lot of books out there giving advice to adults on how to be a good parent and how to raise your kids to become good citizens. I say screw all of that. Who would you rather your son be – Screech Powers or Tupac Shakur? Would you rather your son grow up to play a pansy’s sport like Polo or Golf, or would you... [Read more of this review]
Winter Olympic Sports Finally Explained! Sort of….
The Olympics are widely celebrated throughout the world as a time for all the people of the world to come together, hold hands, and try to embarrass each other in competitive blood sports. As a good American citizen, I of course take pride in my country’s near literal rape of other countries in sports that I didn’t even know existed (or in some... [Read more of this review]
Pop Songs Cause Panic
Across Vanderbilt, students have been experiencing very strange after-effects of heavy nights of drinking. Some experts believe that the symptoms are the result of extremely catchy pop tunes. There is not yet any concrete scientific research to support this theory, however, there is evidence to suggest that songs with particularly asinine lyrics are... [Read more of this review]
ECON 769: FOR EVERYTHING ELSE, THERE’S MASTERCARD
It’s February 10th, you know what that means? Gross displays of affection, red, pink and white everywhere and choking down half a box of chalky Tums-like candy hearts before you remember that you hate them. But that’s not the worst of it. The biggest problem with the chalked up Hallmark holiday: GIFTS. How do you know what to get someone? I mean,... [Read more of this review]
Counterpoint: No Party like a Vandy Party!
Ok, I know that “New Orleans” sounds great and all but people really have to slow down and think about what is there and what we got there. I’m pretty sure that if you really think about it you’ll realize that there’s no party like a Vandy Party starting with the…. Vandy Cards! Oh yeah sure you can throw some beads and get a look at some... [Read more of this review]
Point: It’s Naturally N’awlins, Brah.
New Orleans during Mardi Gras, probably better known as the “Mecca of Partying” for people of all ages, is the place to be this upcoming weekend. I mean, screw you Vanderbubble-bound guys, I’m going home and experiencing the best of what my city has to offer, which will possibly be better than ever now that the Saints have just won the Superbowl... [Read more of this review]
How to Write a Breakup Letter
Since Adam first gave Eve shit about eating that damned apple, couples have been having their quarrels and issues. Bella thought Jacob wasn’t stalkerish or sparkly enough. Romeo and Juliet had communication issues. Summer just wasn’t that into Tom. While talking to someone in person to call off any kind of relationship is perfectly legitimate, who... [Read more of this review]
Danica Patrick to make NASCAR Debut next Weekend at Daytona
Danica Patrick to make NASCAR Debut next Weekend at Daytona By Joe Souter- Chief of Your Unshaven Pit Crew Fear not sports fans, with NFL season fading faster than Bret Favre’s career and MLB baseball just a steroid shrunken testicle on the horizon, two sports will tide us all over into April: a bunch of old fuddy-duddy’s swinging away at Tiger... [Read more of this review]
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