Friday, July 30, 2010

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From The Editor

My Name Is–What? My Name Is–What?

Woah, hold on a second, who does this crazy guy think he is to come over on this... 

What a glorious year What a glorious year

I can’t believe it’s already here—this is my last issue as editor-in-chief... 

Free Food: a McTyeire survival guide Free Food: a McTyeire survival guide

With my sophomore year about ¾ of the way through and my editorship wrapping up... 

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The Slant Blog

Armando Galarraga’s Near-Perfect Game Destroys America Armando Galarraga’s Near-Perfect Game Destroys America

Few times every generation there comes a defining moment where the world begins to... 

Slant Movie Reviews: The Machine Girl Slant Movie Reviews: The Machine Girl

Every year there are a few glimpses of genius. 2008’s would be the excessively... 

A preview: More to come… in a more professional form. A preview: More to come… in a more professional form.

Serious business. Greetings, boys and girls. Today marks the beginning of something... 

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Articles

Former Debate Team Captain Really Interested in Greek Life Former Debate Team Captain Really Interested in Greek Life

Colin Smithterson, a rising Vanderbilt class of 2014 student and former captain of Greengrass High School’s debate team, is announcing to the entire world his desire to discuss Greek life. The seventeen year old swears that he will discuss all of the issues and respect every other student’s respective viewpoints. “I pledge to value everyone’s... [Read more of this review]

Mushroom Kingdom Experiences Coin Hyperinflation Mushroom Kingdom Experiences Coin Hyperinflation

The worldwide economic recession has spared no country as reports out of the Mushroom Kingdom indicate a currency catastrophe spiraling out of control. The Kingdom is one of the last remaining nations in the world to have no issued bank notes. Its economy relies entirely on the world’s oldest monetary unit: the gold coin. Economists have been baffled... [Read more of this review]

Melodores Embark on Grandiose Quest Melodores Embark on Grandiose Quest

Today, April 21, the Melodores are having their final concert of the year, “The Meloship of the Ring.” To prepare, members have decided to forgo shaving and wearing shoes up to and throughout the duration of the concert. Throughout the year, the group has had many issues on campus with other a cappella groups, and the Meloship of the Ring is only... [Read more of this review]

Students React to Rites Lineup Students React to Rites Lineup

The Vanderbilt Music Group did a great job setting up a Rites of Spring festival this year that truly caters to Vandy students. What’s so special, you ask? Why, none other than the plethora of sexual innuendos (or in-YOUR-endos) and alcohol policy carefully designed to make this weekend fun for all, of course! Rites of Spring is admittedly an... [Read more of this review]

A.J. Ogilvy Graduates to the Big Leagues of the NHL A.J. Ogilvy Graduates to the Big Leagues of the NHL

This past Thursday Vanderbilt’s star center AJ Ogilvy announced that he would skip his final season in the NCAA in order to enter the NBA draft.  However an unfortunate clerical error has instead put the 6’ 11’’ Australian up for consideration in the NHL draft. Ogilvy was reportedly angered by the error at first, but in a recent press conference... [Read more of this review]

Rites Done Right Rites Done Right

Every year a two day festival occurs at Vanderbilt University. The Rites of Spring music festival gathers artists such as Passion Pit, Lil Jon, The Flaming Lips, and Wolfmother for two days of music to close out the semester. Students have an intricate selection process of suggesting bands to come perform on Alumni Lawn. But the real fun comes in... [Read more of this review]

Counter Point: Breaking Bones Counter Point: Breaking Bones

Eighth grade is supposed to be a year of boy bands, sparkly lip gloss, acne, and the dying love of that enigmatic concept called high school. For me, it was the majority of that (well, replace the boy bands with Green Day. What’d you expect?) but with one lovely curveball thrown in: breaking my face. Yes, you read that correctly. It was the second... [Read more of this review]

Point: Not Breaking Bones Point: Not Breaking Bones

Call me “average” if you wish, but if that means that I manage not to do extraordinarily stupid things to break myself, then I suppose I accept the derogatory nomenclature as fact. As an “average” person, here is a sampling of the crazy things that I’ve done in my life, all of which I’ve executed without breaking a single bone or even spraining... [Read more of this review]

Washington Nationals Fail to Sign President Obama to Contract Washington Nationals Fail to Sign President Obama to Contract

As March 5th approached, many players from around the majors were looking ahead to opening day and the first game of a very long season (we’re going to label the New York/Boston game the night before as “ESPN Marketing Bullshit” rather than ‘The Season Opener”). The “Ace” pitchers were ready to take the mound for their respective teams…... [Read more of this review]

Tiger Woods Comes up Short at Augusta, in Bedroom Tiger Woods Comes up Short at Augusta, in Bedroom

After 144 days away from the PGA tour to deal with “Pressing Family Issues” or what we call in the hood, a 3 iron to the grill, Eldrick “Tiger” Woods returned the golf course. The media was abuzz with excitement, and many predicted(including myself) that he would runaway with the tournament. Yet despite the roars from the crowds... [Read more of this review]

Dormoscopes Dormoscopes

Towers: Lucky you! The person above you who blasts their music until 4 a.m. won’t the one night you actually need a decent night’s sleep. During finals week, however… Chaffin: You’ll find five bucks. Score! Mayfields: After you move back home, you’ll have trouble falling asleep WITHOUT the sounds of construction blasts. Vandy-Barnard: Luckily,... [Read more of this review]

Abused Dorm Furniture Rebels Against Owners Abused Dorm Furniture Rebels Against Owners

Shocking news out of Residential Education today as a new report indicates that students have been attacked by abused furniture at an alarming 420% increase over the recent weeks. A crack news team assembled of The Slant, News Channel 5 and Cletus the Crack Addict discovered that a student, whose name shall remain anonymous, was mauled to death in his... [Read more of this review]

Slant Reporter Goes Abroad to Strange, Unforgiving Land Slant Reporter Goes Abroad to Strange, Unforgiving Land

Here at the Slant we have high standards of excellence.  Our articles are always proofread at least once.  We don’t associate with the Hustler staff.  We have our own dust-jacket (in the form of Versus).  Our writers are have been called “beneficent martyrs for truth and journalistic integrity”.  This is why I was not surprised when the Slant... [Read more of this review]

iPad Appeals to Giant Demographic iPad Appeals to Giant Demographic

In a move Saturday heralded as an extraordinarily-large step forward for Big People across the globe, Apple Computers released their Giant iPhone. “Finally!” said troll Craig McKraath. “With these giant hands and that tiny screen, how was I supposed to twitter while finding that hot sushi joint? Impossible! I still can’t use most of those apps... [Read more of this review]

Mitt Romney’s New Book “No Apologies” Sends Bad Message To America’s Youth Mitt Romney’s New Book “No Apologies” Sends Bad Message To America’s Youth

Mitt Romney, the former Governor of Massachusetts and current most famous Mormon in the world has gotten some heat over his new book’s controversial message regarding apologies. Despite debuting at the top of the New York Time’s Best Seller list, many parents groups have spoken out against No Apologies, which they say will undo centuries of progress... [Read more of this review]

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