Top Ten Places To Get Free Food on Campus

*Minority organization parties
*Alumni Reunion Tents
*The bulk candy bins in the munchie mart when the staff isn’t looking
*Parent visits
*Tupperware brought to Rand brunch
*All the meal plan meals your anorexic girlfriend skips
*Squirrel traps
*1-Up Mushrooms in your mario game
*Unlocked dorm rooms
*Go to a vending machine. Swipe your card. Unplug the ethernet cable from the wall, and make your selection within like half a second cause it realizes you unplugged the cable and will say “no cards” if you’re not fast enough. You get your snack. Then, it will remember that a purchase has been made, so you have to unplug the machine’s power cord so it loses that memory, then plug both cables back in.

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*Snack machine + hammer
*Trick-or-Treating
*The dumpster behind Commons
*Freshman meal plan

Things VSC Sold That It Didn’t Have Rights To:

-Tree in front of McGill
-Sorostitutes’ morals
-McTyeire
-Vandy’s football success
-That’s where the money you lose on rollovers goes to
-The soap in FGH
-8th floor of the library
-Old smoothie place
-Half of every Pub wrap
-All of Rand’s cleaning equipment
-The engineering science major
-Obama’s vacant senate seat
-Glee’s funniness
-Versus
-Tom the Quizno’s guy
-The penis on the Ascension statue outside Stevenson
-The old Vandy Vans
-Honey Mustard dispenser from the Pub
-The Great Escape on Broadway

-Frannie Boyle’s intelligence