As far as I know, this is a new first for The Slant. Due to a massive windfall and some random email forwarding, I had the opportunity to interview actual rising-star comedian Aaron Karo.
Just for a bit of background, Karo has been a member of the comedy scene since his college days and has steadily grown in insanity, hilarity, and popularity since then. He started as just another party-happy college kid who emailed his friends about his ruminations on the beer-induced, dumb shit he had accomplished over the past weekend. Since then, his meditations have ballooned into his own web site, Ruminations.com, and multiple books deals that resulted in three published novels, Ruminations on College Life, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life, and I’m Having More Fun Than You.
As of this past November, Karo’s stand-up special has premiered on the funniness powerhouse Comedy Central, featuring his latest thoughts on growing up, The Rest is History, which has also been released in album form less than 3 weeks ago and tears the bridesmaids’ speech’s cliché a new marital orifice.
For more information on Karo’s latest comedic adventures, check out this link: http://therestishistory.com/
Other than that, enjoy the man’s insights and honesty.
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1) Describe to us, a bunch of sheltered college kids, what it’s like doing shows on the road. Also, what did you think of Craig Ferguson and his Late Late Show?
a. Hold on, that’s a two-part question, something I wasn’t expecting. Doing shows on the road: Long stretches of horribleness followed by short bursts of awesomeness. Traveling, fuckin’ eating Wendy’s in the airport while hungover, and horrible hotels followed by going on stage, making people laugh, getting a rush, getting drunk, trying to get laid, and repeating.
b. The Late Late show was awesome, Craig Ferguson is great. I was in the green room before the show and someone came in and brought me a letter. I opened it up and it was actually a handwritten letter from Craig saying “Dear Karo, Don’t fuck it up. Love, Craig.” So that was very cool, and I hope I didn’t fuck it up.
c. And yeah, I should have my press secretary on the line, Tom Cruise doesn’t get two-parters, this is ridiculous.
2) What was the inspiration for your Ruminations column that you started in college and has since evolved into its own website and user community?
a. Basically, when I was a freshman back at the University of Pennsylvania, which would have been September of 1997, I got sooooo fucked up every weekend that I would go out all night and I would sleep all day. And on Sunday nights, I’d try to go to bed at like a normal hour to get ready for the week, but I found that my body clock was so messed up that I couldn’t ever fall asleep on Sunday nights. So one Sunday night, a couple weeks into college, I couldn’t fall asleep, so I sat down at my computer out of boredom and I sent an email to 20 of my friends called “Ruminations on College Life,” which was just some random anecdotes and observations about college, and, no pun intended, the rest is history.
b. JUSTIN: So drunken thoughts became your ticket to fame.
i. Yes, that would be a good thing to tell the fans.
3) And, just out of curiosity, when you were in college, what was the cheap, easily-accessible beer of choice? I’m doing a research project on the staying power of Natty Light.
a. You know what, we fuckin’ drank Natty Light too. Yep, that was 1997 and we definitely drank Natty Light. I think there might have been some BEAST too….I was in Philly, which is where Yuengling is, so we’d splurge because that was a “good” beer, but we consumed a lot of Natty Light. Shit’s been around for years.
b. I mean, I was at a bar and they had Natty Light, I’d fuckin’ get Natty Light, definitely. It’s the fuckin’ drink of champions.
i. JUSTIN: At least it’s not the champagne of beers.
ii. Exactly, no Miller High Life in my fraternity.
4) Now, on to more serious questions. What the fuck compelled you to try stand up?
a. Well, after I graduated from Penn, I went to work on Wall Street, and a few months in, I realized that it was not for me because it combined my three least favorite things, which are waking up early, shaving regularly, and tucking in my shirt. And, I had already gotten a book deal from Simon and Schuster to publish my first novel, Ruminations on College Life and I was looking for another outlet. I told my buddy that I wanted to try open mic, and then I canceled on him a couple times until, finally, he booked me and I couldn’t get out of it, so I was forced to do it. So I did it and it was awesome, much better than sitting in a cubicle, so I decided to give it a shot.
b. JUSTIN: So your friend pushed you out into the limelight and made you dance.
i. Pretty much. He was like, “You’re locked into the show,” and I was all like “Well, okay, I guess I’ll just do stand-up comedy then. I have no fuckin’ clue.”
5) So since your initiation onto the stage, what has been your best moment and what has been your worst moment during a routine?
a. Worst moment: I was doing a gig in Ann Arbor and between shows I got a lot drunk, which wasn’t a problem because half the acts up there are usually drunk, but I had to take a piss. I ended up having to break the seal. I had to leave the stage half way through my set, take a piss, and them come back and finish my set.
b. Best moment: I did a show at the House of Blues in Chicago and everyone got so fuckin’ drunk in crowd that someone actually threw up in the audience and then everyone around them started throwing up and it was awesome.
6) I’m assuming that you’ve picked up this stand-up thing from somewhere, so who would you say are your top three comedic influences, and why have you let them influence you?
a. Well, I honestly think my comedic influences aren’t other comedians; it’s really more of my idiot friends. I mean, I’ve got one fraternity brother who lost his virginity in a threesome – the bad kind – and he’s still ridiculous. I have another buddy who I bet 50 bucks that he couldn’t join Jdate.com and then get laid on the same night. He took the bet and he won. Another buddy got so drunk that he passed out on the phone and used up all of his cell phone minutes for the month in one night. And so it’s really just my experience of living with these people, these lunatics, that it’s kind of inspired my acts.
7) Let’s assume that your first Comedy Central Special goes over as well as your published, comedic novels so that the TV network decides to greenlight you for a new TV series. What would you do to ensure that it doesn’t suck?
a. What happens is that you write a script and then the network gives you what’s known as “notes,” which are basically absurd comments about how to make the script worse. So what I’ve learned, and I haven’t made it that far yet, is that, basically, you say, “Okay, great idea, I love these notes,” and then not do any of them. So I think that would be my strategy if I ever got my own sitcom.
b. JUSTIN: So totally ignore all of the Comedy Central producers’ advice.
i. Well, if it’s Comedy Central, I would listen to whatever they say because I love you Comedy Central, but if it were a different network, I would possibly not listen to them.
So while we’re in this realm of hypothetical-ness, let’s pretend that you’re on a date with the illustrious Lady Gaga and she’s wearing her lovely meat dress. The night goes swimmingly and she takes you back to her place. Are you scared or excited, and what do you do once you get there?
a. Wait, wait, wait, she’s wearing the meat dress?
i. JUSTIN: Yes, she’s most definitely wearing the meat dress.
1. Okay, well first, yes, I’m excited. I’d say we’d have to de-robe her, or de-meat her – not too sure what that means – but we’d have to take the meat off. And then I think I’d do what my buddy refers to as “double-bagging it,” which is wearing two condoms, just in case.
ii. JUSTIN: That’s safe, the kids appreciate that. You should probably look into getting a job for Durex or for Trojan in the future.
1. Actually, if you remember health class in high school, you’re not supposed to wear two condoms because it causes friction and they both burst. Please, put that in an asterisk at the bottom. I don’t want to cause a bunch of Vanderbilt people to get pregnant. Actually, you might want to Google that because I don’t even know what the fuck I’m talking about at this point.
9) Ok, so let’s talk about your new album. Although I read about it in your press release, can you tell me, in your own words, what was the inspiration for The Rest is History?
a. Dude, I haven’t even read that press release. Anyway, The Rest is History is a phrase that all bridesmaids use after they’ve given a horrible speech about how the bride and groom met, and it’s always a very white-washed version of the story. But, we all know that these days, people meet, send 4am booty texts, and are getting random blow jobs in person and fucking each other on Facebook. So my show is about how people actually meet, and the final joke is what the bridesmaid’s speech would be like if she actually told the truth, and that’s The Rest is History.
b. JUSTIN: And was this inspired by some of your friends who’ve gotten married, or was this just you thinking about it while watching really shitty Lifetime channel movies?
i. Actually, the majority of my friends who are married met their husbands and wives in what began as a one-night stand and then blossomed into a serious relationship. So, I feel that odds are that’s how I’ll meet my future wife as well. The next time I’m at a bar and I try to take a girl home and she objects by saying “No. What kind of a girl do you think I am?,” I can reply with, “Well I guess you’re not marriage material.”
10) And lastly, if you could be any kitchen utensil, which one would you be and why?
a. Oh wow, I haven’t been asked this since I was a Playmate centerfold. I guess that my first instinct is the spork because it’s versatile, it’s unique, and you really only see one when you’re stoned in line at Wendy’s at 3 o’clock in the morning.
11) Any final comments or cautionary tales you’d like to share with our readers and with anyone whom may have not seen your Comedy Central special yet? Basically, what would you want to tell your readers about yourself so that they will give you money by watching it?
a. This is for Vanderbilt, right?
b. JUSTIN: Yessir.
i. Alright, so then my answer is going to be because my career began because of Vanderbilt. When I was working on Wall Street after college, I sent around a manuscript of all the emails I had written in college, basically just printed out pages of what I have been forwarding to my friends. They went around to publishers and one day I got an email from a girl who was an undergrad at Vanderbilt. She said that she was a big fan, she had been reading my column, and since it was summer, she was writing to tell me about her internship, which was at Simon and Schuster. She was emailing to tell me that she read my manuscript, that her boss was an editor, and that she was going to make sure that the boss read it because she was a big fan. And, two weeks later, I got a book deal from Simon and Schuster and never looked back.
c. JUSTIN: Did you ever meet this mysterious girl?
i. Yes, I did meet her, and I still know her to this day. So the fascination of a Vanderbilt alumni has led to me, ten years later, never having to wear pants ever again. So thank you, Vanderbilt, and buy my shit…and don’t use two condoms at the same time.
