How to blog from iPad

November 23, 2010 By

Dear world I sit here today typing poorly and
Unable to find my tv remote. The food network is on st 3 am and it is now infomercials please please someone stop this awful awful torture. There are no keys in this thing how am i typing st sly thus is ridiculed . Oh i found it criss severed i almost stepped on my iPad youth that would have bucked. Oh sweet man tracker is on sciene channel oh wait something about sex on g4 yes here we go.

The food channek is awesome but i eish i coukd eat the food on the tv in the real life. Kinds sucks doesn’t it??? South park creme fraiche was really funny though.

So it’d thanksgiving teak noe and i really Should sleep but wow I’m on a real Sofa in a real house that doesn’t smell like a cross between popcorn beer vomit jets pizza and bacon. School has unlimited hot water though so i ended no shave November s few days early. Sad sad sad.

Do i buy call of duty back ops im afraid if i do ill die like srtioudly my life will end i csnnot believer it had to corm to this. Death awaits me in the form of s call of duty.

Late night commercials are the worst idont eant to see the only erectile treatment covered by medicare how bout you cover up eith my fisticare in your faceinsurance.

I heard a table of Japanese people st dinner. Couldn’t understand what all they were saying. Too loud in place. Wow im a failure at my favorite language of course English is still #1 in the hood g.

I have a gift csrd to davis kid but it is going out of business i cant believe this i will buy scott pilgrim booked.

Wwell this is the end of the line for my iPad typing this has taken me like 15 min. Yeah buddy.

Thanks fore reading the least clever thing vie written ever. This has ben an experiment in socials media I a cannot believe socsisl autocorrected to socks.

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The Slant goes to Russia!

August 25, 2010 By

Slant editor emeritus Meryem Dede has recently begun her new, more adventurous job as The Slant’s Foreign Correspondent in the city of St. Petersburg, Russia. Be sure to read her latest exploits from her webzone:

http://meryemabroad.wordpress.com/

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Slant Movie Reviews: The Machine Girl

May 26, 2010 By

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Every year there are a few glimpses of genius. 2008′s would be the excessively violent and over-exaggerated Japanese flick The Machine Girl. From one look at the poster, you know this is clearly a big ripoff of Planet Terror, and I’m not saying that it isn’t, but it’s more. It doesn’t have zombies, but it goes above and beyond the call of duty. The B-movie mantra is pushed to every facet of the film from the opening scene to the final credits.

The “plot” is as follows: a group of high school bullies who follow a Yakuza leader’s son murder a girl’s brother, so she swears revenge to kill them. If you can deduce from the title and the poster, something happens along the way to spice it up a bit.

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The acting is bad (most of the female roles are models/porn stars including the moms),the costumes are bad, the soundtrack is bad, the set design is bad, the dialogue is bad (the writer/director made pornos also), the action is bad… the only thing that is not terrible appears to be the budget, but this and the rest makes all of it INCREDIBLE! But it’s not bad like The Room bad, it’s intentionally bad. Everything is so over the top, that even the most disgusting violent brutal deaths are hilarious because of the obvious cheaply made props or prosthetic dummies. The melodrama is so thick at times that it spews out like the gushing fake blood hoses from seemingly every character’s body. If you thought Kill Bill set the bar for fake blood, this movie does an Olympic high jump over that bar and then impales someone with it.

I haven’t laughed this hard for the duration of an entire movie in a long time. All in all, I give it five donuts out of five!

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I’m thinking of making it mandatory Slant watching material, and if you disagree with me, then you are a no-good hypochondriac recluse who constantly pees on the hall’s toilet seat! Did I mention that the spiritual sequel to this is called RoboGeisha?

Yeah, this movie is awesome.

Yeah, this movie is awesome.

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A preview: More to come… in a more professional form.

April 27, 2010 By
Serious business.

Serious business.

Greetings, boys and girls. Today marks the beginning of something that probably is about to start.

As you dedicated visitors can see (I know you look at this website daily), we here at The Slant have been tinkering with our website a little. I myself think I have finally gotten the hang of it.

This is the blog category. It’s something that has lingered here for quite a while, but something I’d like to get started for serious. Let’s face it, summer is going to be long. You most faithful readers and fans need to get your kick of comedy! The top 10 is a cornerstone of The Slant and comedy in general really, but it’s kind of taking up some very valuable real estate on our front page. What I hope for this new… er, old yet untapped comedic resource is that our amazing humor task force can polish their craft while entertaining you, the masses.

It’s a strange feeling that this year is almost over, and that there are at least four months until the next issue of The Slant. Vanderbilt, I’m sure you feel that way too. Let us not go quietly into the sunset! REJOICE FOR WE HAVE TECHNOLOGY!

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First!

September 29, 2009 By

Welcome to The Slant Blog! On this cutting-edge Humor 2.0 platform, we plan to bring you the latest technology in penis jokes, “that’s what she said” quips and, I don’t know, maybe some pointed social commentary. More importantly, this gives us an awesome venue for posting hilarious stuff OTHER people do. Often times, in our extensive research—aka Facebook and Stumble-Upon—we come across the funniest things, but our “stringent standards” prevent us from stealing these outright. Here, however, we can just share, which is sorta like Stealing 2.0, except more hypertexty. Oh, and the authors happily get pageviews and advertising money and mad street cred and stuff like that.

We’ve still figuring out this whole “blogging” thing, but let’s just say we’ve got some enthusiastic “internet nerds,” errr “bloggers” pretty excited. So we should have new content up here regularly. Consider yourself warned.

On a side note, can I boost about how happy this site makes me? As Technical Director of the Slant, I did… absolutely nothing. Nada. I tried doing a bunch of stuff last year as el Presidente of el Slant, but nothing came of that either. So imagine my surprise when Meryem Dede called me up and was all like “Wham! Look at this whole website thing I whipped up! Done!” Slightly more honestly, Meryem and the dude who actually coded the damn thing—programming extraordinaire Jim Hayes—busted their butts for this website. In contrast to the years that our website has floundered in aesthetic purgatory—“I guess this isn’t so bad?”—they got this site to you in less than 2 months. Plus, it looks DAMN good. Props.

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