How to be a bad parent: An insider’s guide on how to make your kid a delinquent

Recently, I’ve seen a lot of books out there giving advice to adults on how to be a good parent and how to raise your kids to become good citizens.  I say screw all of that.  Who would you rather your son be – Screech Powers or Tupac Shakur?  Would you rather your son grow [...]

“Don’t be that guy!”

So I was working out at the gym the other evening when the King of the Douche Bags graced us with his presence. Now don’t get me wrong, there are generally loads of piss-ant douche bags at the gym who like to like strut around like little peacocks playing the “who has the biggest dick [...]

How to Write a Breakup Letter

Since Adam first gave Eve shit about eating that damned apple, couples have been having their quarrels and issues. Bella thought Jacob wasn’t stalkerish or sparkly enough. Romeo and Juliet had communication issues. Summer just wasn’t that into Tom. While talking to someone in person to call off any kind of relationship is perfectly legitimate, [...]

Surviving Disaster at Vanderbilt

sorry for the lateness

Ask Hannah

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the first ever edition of “Ask Hannah,” The Slant’s brand-new advice column.  I’m sure you’ve seen the posters we’ve been putting up all around campus to generate buzz for this column, which will surely revolutionize the advice-giving industry.
As a small child, I spend a large portion of my day reading [...]

Dining on Donors’ Dolla’s, Drinkin’ Jack with Mr. C

With the impending holidays biting us all in the ass, every religious group on campus is beginning to give out free food to soothe the monetary sting of buying gifts for all those people you really don’t give a shit about but are hoping that you can sneak by with giving them a crappy gift [...]

Tips and tricks for stretching your meal plan to the max

1)      Avoid the Munchie Marts.

The 1 pre-packaged entrée and 2 pre-packaged sides that constitute a “meal” at the Munchies is not really much food. I’ve seen girls go to the Munchie and buy 3 bottles of water, which comes to a grand total of $3.75. Not very much, but then again, if you consider the [...]

The Alpha Male’s guide to relationships

I used to be a loser when it came to love, but during my time at Vandy I have come to learn how to get any girl I want. Before I was awesome like I am now, I would walk up to a girl and be like, “Hi I’m Austin, what’s your name?” and she’d [...]

iPhone Insanity

THE iPHONE. It’s become a quintessential and mandatory part of life on Vanderbilt campus. It’s like mixing your old iTouch and Blackberry into one device, ensuring that only one electronic item can get damaged while playing beer pong. Needless to say, it makes life complete.
As an avid iPhone addict myself (you think I’m kidding, I’ll [...]

Do Drugs for fun and profit

“I made $5,000 in 3 weeks this summer because of drugs,” I tell friends, family and professors when they ask me how my summer went. After an awkward pause, I go on to explain that I’m talking about working as a guinea pig for large pharmaceutical companies.