Top 10 things you would never want to hear your girlfriend say…

10. I really miss standing up to pee.
9. Nope, that’s the wrong hole.
8. You know, I really thought Eliot Spitzer would have had more stamina.
7. I don’t really buy into this “one partner” ideal….
6. Awww, look at those kids! I think at least two of them are mine.
5. If we moved to Arkansas, this would [...]

Top 10: Worst Baby Names

10. L—A
9. !!! (Pronounced as three clicks)
8. Window
7. Jesus Condom
6. Orangejello
5. ESPN (Pronounced: Espen)
4. NASCAR (Pronounced: Nes-Car)
3. awleouhfl (Pronounced: Jerry)
2. Michael
1. ZZZZ (First on our list, always last in life)

Top 10 Things The Slant is Thankful For

 
Top Ten things The Slant is thankful for:
10. Ahhh we finally get a break from class! It feels like we’ve been at it for almost four weeks in a row!
9. Jay Z concert is over: Finally get to stop hearing how awesome the Jay Z concert is going to be.
8. New episodes of [...]

Top 10 Things You Did Over Fall Break

10. Roamed campus scouring for food.
9. Slept m0re than my goddamn roommate does.
8. Went to Duke and was disappointed to be the only one drunk on Wednesday night.
7. Boobjob.
6. Spent my days bitching about my roommate.  Spent my nights unable to sleep without him.
5. Harassed all my friends about beer pong etiquette.
4. Alternative Fall Break: [...]

Top Ten Games Not To Play During Swine Flu Season

10. “Down by the Banks of the Hanky Panky…”
9. Tag
8. 7 minutes in heaven
7. Let’s shove our hands into buckets of used syringes
6. Thumb wars
5. Loogie wars
4. Close-range karaoke duets
3. Pork rodeo
2. “Let’s rub eyes”
1. Flu chicken: Last one to get H1N1 is a pussy!