Motorcade Madness

Kyle Hope — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:37:17 +0000

While the protest with the Vanderbilt Students for Nonviolence (VSN) raged outside the SLC, the real insanity started only after General Petraeus had left the stage. A group of us freedom fighters were walking back to Towers after making our voices heard when we were attacked!
It all happened so fast, but I remember that we had just started crossing 24th Avenue when a motorcycle cop almost hit us. He was going way over the 15 mph speed limit (nice enforcement VUPD…) and then– imagine this– he stops in the West End intersection! I mean can you believe this shit?
After abusing his authority and stopping in the intersection, he turns toward the traffic and stops each car with a mere hand gesture. Some people!
As he raised his hand to stop the traffic, and as we began to wonder what had possessed this policeman to cause a traffic pileup, we turned around and were clipped by not one, not two, but SIX Cadillac Escalades going at least 85 mph through Vandy’s campus. The only thing I can remember was the sound of “Big Pimpin” blasting out of the last Cadillac’s windows at the level normally reserved for a Friday frat party. And as quickly as we caught a whiff of whiskey and cigar from one of its open windows, the motorcade was gone.
Damn you, Petraeus! My clever and witty sign, which I had spent hours agonizing over during our VSN planning meetings, was smashed, along with my sense of confidence in our cause. Because, lets face it, how cool would that be to have the police, Cadillac, and Mr. Jack Daniels all working for you? So, General, any chance you could deliver an internship offer along with a Get Well Soon card to my hospital room? Working with you may be better than the Peace Corps after all…

Kyle Hope says: Join the Slant!

Kyle Hope — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:36:16 +0000

For the past few years, I’ve been the distribution manager for the Slant. Remember that guy screaming across campus in the morning with the golf cart? Yeah, that was me. Quick aside: sorry if I almost hit you – going 0 to 10 miles per hour in 4 seconds is quite a rush. Anyway, due to the economic downturn and the whole reorganization deal, I wound up out of a job since the Slant now comes delivered with Versus. So I decided to become a full-time Slant writer, and I have to tell you: this job is even better than racing from the Commons to Sarratt twice a month. The staff here is really friendly and will help you to write great content that can be in our next issue – even if you don’t think you are that funny! Our writing staff is always there to help you get started and can teach the best ways to poke fun at any group on campus. And if writing isn’t really what you are into, there are plenty of other awesome jobs available. We’re always looking for creative and fun-loving people to help us do everything from Photoshopping a hilarious image for the cover to helping us come up with ideas for the next big Slant prank. Even if you just have some ideas for funny articles you’d like written, we’d love to have you at our meetings, which are always a good time. So stop by the Student Media office in Sarratt 130 at 8PM on Mondays and help us keep being the funniest group on campus.

The Slant» Kyle Hope

Motorcade Madness

Kyle Hope says: Join the Slant!