Top 10 things you would never want to hear your girlfriend say…

10. I really miss standing up to pee.

9. Nope, that’s the wrong hole.

8. You know, I really thought Eliot Spitzer would have had more stamina.

7. I don’t really buy into this “one partner” ideal….

6. Awww, look at those kids! I think at least two of them are mine.

5. If we moved to Arkansas, this would be legal.

4. That’ll be about $3.50

3. Remember that time you stole me from the brothel? Oh Wait, that wasn’t you, was it?

2. My brother and I are really close. Really REALLY close.

1. Spending time with you has really just taken away from my happy time with my friend, Mr. Max Dildo