Editor Update

Everybody rags on Valentine’s Day as being a Hallmark-produced, candy-coated, pseudo-genuine holiday. I realize as Slant editor I should probably jump on this bandwagon, since The Slant historically casts out more zingers than Triumph the insult-comic dog. However, this time I am not. There are a lot stupider holidays out there.
On Easter, is the miracle we’re supposed to be celebrating that a bunny can lay chocolate eggs? Are we thankful in November that gluttony isn’t a sin for one day? Is Christmas a celebration of sales on children’s toys and the power and awe of electricity?
Other holidays have religious or historic context to back up their authenticity, but what does that really add? I think Valentine’s Day is awesome and not just because I can smugly say I’m in a relationship. Other holidays are closeted, but Valentine’s Day embraces what it is. It started commercialized and it continues commercialized. What is more American than picking a random date and making it somehow significant? Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, Hug-an-Asian Day, Kick-a-Ginger Day—all legitimate fake holidays but not as epic. Like a louse compared to a llama, Valentine’s Day is ten times more badass than any other fake holiday.
Perhaps people don’t like Valentine’s Day because of the overload of pink? Nevertheless, this doesn’t fit the Vanderbilt scene, where the campus’s men assault us with pink on a daily basis.
However, the real question, is how can anyone not like a holiday that advocates gift giving? Although not as magical as a birthday where you are not expected to reciprocate gifts, Valentine’s Day still is a wonderful celebration of giving stuff. More important, it’s a day of giving GOOD stuff.
Chocolate is delicious. This is indisputable. Thus, a holiday that’s celebration involves dipping food in chocolate, giving chocolate to others and making chocolate into sappy shapes like hearts and roses is awesome in my book. Or more precisely, is awesome in my paper.

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