ISSUE #6 Funny Ideas (Return from Break Issue)

Slant Meeting – Issue #6 Funny Story Ideas (Return from Break Issue)

Reminders:
a. Issue comes out on 1-27-10.
b. Submit your writing(s) by Sunday at 1pm
c. Productions: Monday from 1-11pm and Tuesday from 5-8pm (Sarratt 130)
d. Features
i. Front page
ii. Big Stories = 500-800 words
iii. Short Stories = 375-ish words
iv. Top 10 list
v. Around the Loop (ATL)
vi. Interview(s)
vii. Fucked Image
viii. Bastard Confession
ix. Advice Column
x. Center Spread
xi. Throwaways
xii. Others…

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NEW IDEAS (Compiled on 1-18-10)

1) Students imprisoned in McTyeire (Dibs: AMIT SHINTRE)

2) “Ask Hannah” posters (Dibs: DAN KING)
a. Spam her spamming
b. Slant takes over this column and poses as Hannah in our publication, pretend like it was our idea all along

3) ATL is mine, bitch!
a. Print next issue’s ATL pics in 3-D form
b. (Free cutout of 3-D glasses included!)

4) Be an R.A. (Dibs: BRENDAN ALVIANI)
a. Make our own dining hall ads
b. Who needs Friday nights anyway?

5) New Gay Frat (Dibs: JIM GILLIAN)
a. Very progressive (…rock)
b. The house looks dirty from the outside but smells great inside!
c. Being the 1 straight guy in the gay frat
i. Leads to an eventual increase in creepers
d. Lesbian Sorority, soon coming to a campus near you.

6) Pike misplaces decimal point, loses house (short article)

7) Top 10 phrases uttered during sorority rush (Dibs: MERYEM DEDE)

Charts: Dibs: BRENDAN ALVIANI)
a. Where you want to live compared to where you will actually live next year.
b. Twin pie-charts combined into a Venn Diagram

9) Point / Counterpoint:
a. Jay Leno vs. Conan O’Brien (Dibs: JUSTIN and CLAY)

10) New IFC recruitment process (Dibs: CAITLIN MEYER)
a. Boys wear uniforms, ostracize lone boy with black blazer
b. Revel process = a case of each different type of cheap beer for each frat is placed under the guys who get chosen (mocking the girls’ envelope reveal and squeal)

11) Jersey Shore (Dibs: DAN KING)

12) Avatar (Dibs: JOE S.)
a. Takes white guilt to a whole new level
b. Smurfs on steroids
c. Blue Man Group
d. Blue folk from Kentucky
e. Suffocating people (asphyxiates)
f. Democrats
g. Depressed people
h. Cold people

13) Haiti (Dibs: ANDREW LIGON)
a. Poorest country evaaarrr, but we just start to notice now.
b. It was an insider’s job to get media attention
c. Pat Robertson’s “cursed for making a pact with the devil” comment
d. List of other suffering countries and their ailments

14) The Crotch-Bomber (Dibs: CHRIS WATKINS)
a. Not a sex move/position
b. Wanna be a full-body scanner and look at naked people?
c. With underwear no longer allowed on planes, pantyless girls finally fit in.
d. Superbad 2: International Travel

15) Cover Idea: New Apple Product to be revealed on Jan. 27th
a. Steve Jobs pic
b. “i-bacus” (abacus)
i. Mock Apple’s silhouette style ads by having someone hold the “new” device.

16) Make fun of the protest on MLK, Jr. Day.
a. They were protesting about not getting the day off to do “service.”
b. Their literal chant was “I believe in MLK!”
i. I also believe in MLK. I, too believe that he was a real person and more than just a fable or something, but that’s nothing to chant about.
1. I wish that they would have come up with a chant that wasn’t so easy to laugh at.

17) PILF’s: Professors I’d Like to Fuck (possible ATL)
a. With the new semester and new teachers who are your PILF choices?
b. We could research the “hot” rating on ratemyprofessors.com…

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STILL UNUSED IDEAS

1) Personal Ad’s (for almost Valentine’s Day issue / to raise money for actual, good cause)
a. New dating website
i. Slantharmony.com
ii. Slarmony.com
b. Featured full profiles
c. Classified style blurbs

2) Guide to InsideVandy.com website
a. Vandy on Twitter
i. Cycles through old posts, but never updates.
b. Blogs from Study Abroad kids
c. Confusing layout, with all the important stuff hidden like Easter Eggs

3) Randomly awesome (and deceptive) websites
a. http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com
i. Self-explanatory
b. www.HighDEAS.com
i. The place for “inspiration”
c. www.redtube.com
i. Sneaky porn site
d. www.LPSG.org
i. Large Penis Support Group
e. http://www.studentology.net/tuesday/
i. Is it Tuesday?
f. http://iamawesome.com/
i. At least someone thinks so.
g. http://dicktowel.com/
i. Courtesy of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
h. (more…)

4) Greek Life actually infects campus with swine flu
a. Literally getting sick of doing sorority house rounds
b. Fumigation becomes necessary
c. “free shots,” get yours

5) FAKE AD: Stupid Survey Stats
a. 95.361% of students don’t smoke crack and drive
i. Go Us!

6) Funny Calls to Action
a. Submit the most ridiculous opinion articles ever to the Hustler to see which one gets printed

7) i-Berlin Wall 2.0
a. “Shake well, separation is natural.”
b. Of Commons and Communists
c. Hunger Strike / Extreme Buffet eating contests as acts of protest
d. Mini-“care” packages / lofted over the wall with mini-parachutes
e. Men with NERF guns guarding it
f. Kool-Aid Man reappears
g. Berliners appear from behind the glass windows of MRB III as the fake walls come down
i. Berliners are donuts too!

Cover idea:
a. Brady Bunch-esque picture of minorities on campus
i. Have 3 copies of the same Asian girl because we couldn’t find another one to have different pictures.

9) John Cabot University ad in the Hustler = ad for Vandy Lite! (FAKE AD)

10) Unexpected T.V. stars that were once military killers
a. Drew Carey
b. Mr. Rogers
c. Ice-T
d. Montel

11) Divinity school publishes their own humor magazine?

12) New ASB Sites
a. Guiding Natty Light
b. ASB = “Average” Spring Break

13) “Where the Wild Things Are”
a. Hipster list vs. Preppy List

14) DA-DA Club?

15) Centerspread Idea 1
b. Horrible movie adaptations of other children’s books
i. “Sin City” overhaul of various Dr. Seuss stories
ii. “Get the Fuck Down, Moon” instead of Goodnight, Moon
iii. The Very Hungry (Bulimic) Caterpillar

16) Balloon Boy = real-life version of UP!
i. Not sanctioned by Disney/Pixar

17) Hobo’s, Now on the Card! / Hobo-Cash

18) FML / Texts from Last Night generator formula

19) “B.C.” = Before Commons (students)
a. Story of how the administration just wants to get rid of all us B.C. students

20) Interview with the guy who met last year’s Kissam Hobo in the bathroom

21) Quizno’s Tom Update
a. “Subway Seizure” story

22) Famous Alumni Interviews
b. Bill Gates
c. Al Gore
d. (more)

23) The Sophomore Slump / Slums
e. Lobby in Vandy/Barnard??
f. (Top 10) Things the new Freshies can thank the Sophomores for…

24) Stereotypical College Kid Posters
g. Examples: End of the War Kiss, Audrey Hepburn, James Dean, Belushi with College sweatshirt (replace his head with Zeppos’), The Joker, etc.
h. (What do your posters say about you?)

25) Sprinklers
i. New Sport – Sprinkler dodging/limbo
j. Feel like James Bond in a stealth movie or Mario dodging fireballs in Bowser’s Castle
k. Wet T-shirt Contest!

26) Squirrels
l. Squirrel on every page doing a different pose
m. Chip and Dale, the adventuring chipmunks, make a guest appearance

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