Tips and tricks for stretching your meal plan to the max

1)      Avoid the Munchie Marts.

1. The 1 pre-packaged entrée and 2 pre-packaged sides that constitute a “meal” at the Munchies is not really much food. I’ve seen girls go to the Munchie and buy 3 bottles of water, which comes to a grand total of $3.75. Not very much, but then again, if you consider the amount of roll-over we get per un-swiped meal, then they are actually beating the system, even if only slightly. However, why not make the most out of your Vanderbilt dollar, (cuz you know the administration is)? Go to Rand or the Commons where 5 sides equals a meal and you can easily walk out of there with 5 bottles of water, probably more if you’re sneaky. Hey, it’s not a large difference, but at least you’re winning more, and that’s what matters most. And if you’re still a penchant for pre-packaged foods, you could snag more yogurts or Naked juices from the actual dining halls as well.

 

2)      Be polite, courteous, and, most importantly, flirty.

1. Smiling nicely and repeating “please” and “thank you” a bunch when the Rand and Commons workers are serving you your food will result in a more pleasant dining experience. Moreover, flirting with the right workers will get you larger scoops of mashed potatoes and perhaps even a second piece of salmon, which is all you really want anyway, right? 

                                                              i.      If you’re a guy, chat with the older ladies behind the counter – something as simple as asking them how their days are going – and they’ll think you’re a classy gentleman who could use a couple extra kernels of corn to get you through these trying exam times.

                                                            ii.      If you’re a girl, wear a low-cut shirt and use what your momma gave you to your advantage. If you’re lucky enough to get served by a male dining employee, use your sexy voice when asking for the taco salad (which is not the same voice you use when trying to con your “daddy” into buying you something you don’t need) and lean against the counter very provocatively, making sure to let the ta-ta’s do most of the talking. You’ll get more bang for your buck, the server will get a nice surprise in the middle of his day, and all parties will leave happily. Think of it as working for your meals, but as less intrusive than being a stripper or a prostitute.

 

3)      Spend ALL of your meal-money.

1. Whatever remains on your card at the end of the semester magically disappears into Uncle Cornelius’ pre-lined pockets. Why not use your leftover meal money to your advantage? Think of all the Taste of Nashville restaurants where you can use the Vandy card. Now think of all those restaurants that sell gift cards. Are you connecting the dots with me yet? If you’re not one of brightest bulbs on the Christmas tree, let me lay it out simply for you: Swipe your gold card for a nice gift card at the end of the semester. For example, in May two years ago, I cashed out $75 from Chili’s and felt smugly genius when I turned to my friend and said, “This one’s on the Commodore.” Moreover, this bonus will come in handy in three ways, without any of the attached guilt that came with the multi-million dollar bonuses of the ENRON and AIG executives:

                                                              i.      You get to spend more of your Monopoly money and need to spend less of your real money when you go home over winter and summer breaks. One less thing for which I have to pay is always a win in my book.

                                                            ii.      Save up the cards and treat that special someone to a classy free dinner either back in the homelands or when you return to the Vandylands. Even though he or she may be sick of Chili’s or Friday’s, free food always tastes better than food with a monetary cost, an dif you’re lucky, you may receive a different sort of “repayment” later on that night.

                                                          iii.      When you go home over the breaks, look like a baller and treat a bunch of your friends and/or family members to nice meal. In case you weren’t aware, Chili’s is part of a restaurant group that includes Macaroni Grill, On the Border Mexican Grill, and even Maggiano’s Little Italy, all of which accept that Chili’s gift card you just earned, so take advantage of that and diversify your dining.

                           1. For example, when I went with a few of my friends to Savannah, GA two summers ago, I happened to still be carrying that $75 Chili’s gift card I mentioned earlier. So after we rolled around on the beach all day, we rolled into Macaroni Grill in our bathing suits. Though we were forced to wait to be seated for a good 20 minutes even though the restaurant was 80% empty (receiving the stank eye from the waiters and being ignored by the hostess, which was probably because they didn’t take us seriously as paying customers), 10 of us were able to able to eat for nearly free, having to only pay $5 each for some delicious Italian food. I have a feeling that my single instance of ballerness over that vacation may have been a deciding factor in winning over the girlfriend I had after the trip ended. In addition, since dinner cost so little, we were able to afford more “liquid fun,” which made our last night on the coast just that much more interesting (as in the “climbing statues and taking inappropriate pictures with them” kind of interesting). So, be kind to other people, as you never know what it might get you in the end.

Related posts:

1. Wraptopia: Vanderbilt’s New Vision for the Commons Although many freshmen found themselves confused after the first four...
2. Squirrels Upset Over Prevalence of Students As classes started at Vanderbilt University, the squirrels are adjusting...
3. Reminder Poems for Freshmen Hey, Lindsay and I came up with three poems, feel...
4. Vandy’s Ranking Improves, Students, Administrators Despair Some people would argue that the U.S. News and World...