Updated Issue #4 Ideas (11-9-09)

November 10, 2009 By

Slant Meeting – Issue #4 Funny Story Ideas (Almost Thanksgiving Issue)

Reminders:

  1. a.      Issue comes out on 11-18-09.
  2. b.      Submit your writing(s) by Sunday at 6pm
  3. c.       Productions: Monday from 1-11pm and Tuesday from 5-8pm (Sarratt 135)
  4. d.      Features

                                                              i.      Front page

                                                            ii.      Big Stories = 500-800 words

                                                          iii.      Short Stories = 375-ish words

                                                           iv.      Top 10 list

                                                             v.      Around the Loop (ATL)

                                                           vi.      Interview(s)

                                                         vii.      Fucked Image

                                                       viii.      Bastard Confession

                                                           ix.      Advice Column

                                                             x.      Center Spread

                                                           xi.      Throwaways

                                                         xii.      Others…

 

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NEW IDEAS (Compiled on 11-9-09)

 

1)      Diphthongs (Throwaway)

  1. Not just for hot linguistics majors anymore

 

2)      i-Berlin Wall 2.0

  1. a.      “Shake well, separation is natural.”
  2. b.      Of Commons and Communists
  3. c.       Hunger Strike / Extreme Buffet eating contests as acts of protest
  4. d.      Mini-“care” packages / lofted over the wall with mini-parachutes
  5. e.       Men with NERF guns guarding it
  6. f.       Kool-Aid Man reappears
  7. g.      Berliners appear from behind the glass windows of MRB III as the fake walls come down

                                                              i.      Berliners are donuts too!

 

3)      VUT/“Beauty Queen” Humor (Bastard Confession)

  1. Actors stricken with cases of PTSD / multiple-personality disorders after show because of working with interchanging co-actors
  2. Shortbread blowjobs
  3. Aphrodisiac / not so “short” after all

 

4)      Ceiling Scrapings = Snowfall (or extreme dandruff) (YAY!) (Dibs: ANDREW)

 

5)      TOP 10 things you’re thankful for (Dibs: DAN KING)

 

6)      Emailing / Owl-ing deficiency reports to save paper and lives (Throwaway)

 

 

7)      Slant version of Versus’ “Fall Fashion” expose (Possible ATL)

  1. Student decked out with face-paint for football game is actually just going to class on a random Wednesday
  2. Half and Half clothes

                                                              i.      Party hard/work hard mockery à same clothes, just draw a line through person

  1. Richard Houston making fun of being picked by Versus for being fashionable when he really couldn’t have given a shit.

 

8)      Free Brad Paisley (Fucked Image)

  1. Play around with grammar

                                                              i.      Free (as in food)

                                                            ii.      Free (as in liberate)

 

9)      Poetic poster advertising that students not forget to register for Spring semester classes

  1. Make fun of this by coming up with own poems that ridicule simple things freshies shouldn’t forget, like washing socks or brushing teeth.
  2. (Dibs: RYAN CARR)

 

10)   Minorities partying while white kids are stuck studying (picture) (Dibs: JUSTIN BARISICH)

  1. Caucasia-dores!

                                                              i.      Come together to celebrate white culture, food, and music

                                                            ii.      Look up to George Washington for being the first white president

 

11)  Chipotle vs. Qdoba vs. Baja Burrito vs. Rand Burrito (Dibs: AMIT SHINTRE)

  1. Taste-test of all 4 full burritos to be completed in one sitting
  2. And the winner is…

 

12)  Point / Counterpoint

  1. Writers are angry at each other, and make fun of one another, but really agree on the actual issue(s) at hand
  2. Yay for slander!

 

13)  Cover idea:

  1. Brady Bunch-esque picture of minorities on campus

                                                              i.      Have 3 copies of the same Asian girl because we couldn’t find another one to have different pictures.

 

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NEW IDEAS (Compiled on 11-2-09)

 

1)      iPhone creativity (Dibs: CHARLOTTE)

  1. camera-phone pic sent to other time zones in order to get a sober judgment of another person’s legit hotness
  2. Updates on you’re the Pub orders

                                                              i.      “Sorry, your fries were ganked by a football player again.”

                                                            ii.      “Oh, just come back next week and try again.”

  1. Phone numbers and contacts games

                                                              i.      Dialing wrong numbers (intentionally or unintentionally) and fucking with people

                                                            ii.      Receiving calls from people you don’t know and pretending to be what/who they’re for

  1. 1.      “Yes, this is Domino’s…”

                                                          iii.      Taking your friend’s phone and renaming all of their contacts as Sesame Street characters.

  1. GPS Assassins app on the iPhone

 

2)      Hustler Reporting Fail

  1. Google Earth was invented in 2005
  2. Hustler report on it in 2009 that a Vandy alumnus invented it.

                                                              i.      Where the fuck were you for the past 4 years?

 

3)      Zeppos = 7th highest paid pres. of a university  (Dibs: STEVEN LEVAN)

  1. What happened to budget cuts?
  2. #1 is from some random-ass school.

 

4)      John Cabot University ad in the Hustler = ad for Vandy Lite!  (FAKE AD)

 

5)      The Slant is very disappointed by the lack of skanky costumes at Halloween this year.

 

6)      Vandy Escort Service Team (VEST) (Dibs: DAN KING)

  1. Blue lights for a walking guide home get changed to Red Lights.
  2. Hookers on demand à lines form around posts
  3. On the card. Sign-up online to avoid the line!

 

7)      WGS / LGBTQII / Vandy Athletics is now all rolled into one department

(Dibs: ANDREW LIGON)

  1. Maybe things will improve when viewed from the perspective of a lesbian, woman, former softball player, who just so happens to gradually rule the entire campus.

 

8)      “Bonzai” theory of improving the football team

  1. “Break them to make them stronger.”

 

9)      Rock Band playoff with the game’s inventor.

  1. He is the ultimate fake instrument nerd and single-handedly slays the entire Vandy LAN all-star team.

 

10)  The Slant as a Turducken (because we’re inside of Versus)

 

11)  HighDEAS.com

  1. The place for “inspiration”

 

12)  Unexpected T.V. stars that were once military killers (Dibs: RUDY)

  1. Drew Carey
  2. Mr. Rogers
  3. Ice-T
  4. Montel

 

13)  Something about the Jay-Z concert

 

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STILL UNUSED IDEAS

 

1)      Balloon Boy = real-life version of UP!

                                                              i.      Not sanctioned by Disney/Pixar

 

2)      “Coexist”

  1. …in the name of free food
  2. Compose a schedule of when and where to get free food

 

3)      Divinity school publishes their own humor magazine?

 

4)      Retaliating against all bitch-ass RA’s

  1. Booze probie can’t drink pains away anymore
  2. Bitchiest RA ever
  3. Is a puppy-punter
  4. Is a baby rapist
  5. …but not really

                                                              i.      Talk about the psychology of people only remembering headlines

 

5)      ATL à Most disappointed(-ing) majors

 

6)      New ASB Sites

  1. Guiding Natty Light
  2. ASB = “Average” Spring Break

 

7)      “Where the Wild Things Are”

  1. Hipster list vs. Preppy List

 

8)      DA-DA Club?

 

9)      Centerspread Idea 1

  1. Horrible movie adaptations of other children’s books

                                                              i.      “Sin City” overhaul of various Dr. Seuss stories

                                                            ii.      “Get the Fuck Down, Moon” instead of Goodnight, Moon

                                                          iii.      The Very Hungry (Bulimic) Caterpillar

 

10)  Football game re-cap from a non-footballin’ perspective

 

11)  Hobo’s, Now on the Card! / Hobo-Cash

 

12)  FML / Texts from Last Night generator formula

 

13)  “B.C.” = Before Commons (students)

  1. a.      Story of how the administration just wants to get rid of all us B.C. students

 

14)  Interview with the guy who met last year’s Kissam Hobo in the bathroom

 

15)  Quizno’s Tom Update

  1. “Subway Seizure” story

 

16)  Famous Alumni Interviews

  1. Bill Gates
  2. Al Gore
  3. …

 

17)  Biological Warfare Against the Indians

  1. Via blankets via swine flu
  2. Swine Snuggies
  3. Indian Retaliation

                                                              i.      Tea Embargos / Blockades

                                                            ii.      Question the Commodore’s actual maritime credentials

                                                          iii.      Lack of oranges = scurvy

 

18)  Pop Culture

  1. Gentle(man) / Sir GaGa
  2. “Dude looks like a lady GaGa”

 

19)  Swine Flu / H1N1

  1. (ATL) à “How did the Swine Flu epidemic affect you?”
  2. (Possible VTV idea) Disaster movie à 20 hours after exposure, Day 2, Day 3, etc.           

 

20)  The Sophomore Slump / Slums

  1. Lobby in Vandy/Barnard??
  2. (Top 10) Things the new Freshies can thank the Sophomores for…

 

21)  Stereotypical College Kid Posters

  1. Examples: End of the War Kiss, Audrey Hepburn, James Dean, Belushi with College sweatshirt (replace his head with Zeppos’), The Joker, etc.
  2.  (What do your posters say about you?)

 

22)  Sprinklers

  1. New Sport – Sprinkler dodging/limbo
  2. Feel like James Bond in a stealth movie or Mario dodging fireballs in Bowser’s Castle
  3. Wet T-shirt Contest!

 

23)  Squirrels

  1. Squirrel on every page doing a different pose
  2. Chip and Dale, the adventuring chipmunks, make a guest appearance

 

24)  Cougar Column

  1. Cougar hunting
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