Slant Meeting – Issue #4 Funny Story Ideas (Almost Thanksgiving Issue)
Reminders:
a. Issue comes out on 11-18-09.
b. Submit your writing(s) by Sunday at 6pm
c. Productions: Monday from 1-11pm and Tuesday from 5-8pm (Sarratt 135)
d. Features
i. Front page
ii. Big Stories = 500-800 words
iii. Short Stories = 375-ish words
iv. Top 10 list
v. Around the Loop (ATL)
vi. Interview(s)
vii. Fucked Image
viii. Bastard Confession
ix. Advice Column
x. Center Spread
xi. Throwaways
xii. Others…
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NEW IDEAS (Compiled on 11-2-09)
1) iPhone creativity (Dibs: CHARLOTTE)
a. camera-phone pic sent to other time zones in order to get a sober judgment of another person’s legit hotness
b. Updates on you’re the Pub orders
i. “Sorry, your fries were ganked by a football player again.”
ii. “Oh, just come back next week and try again.”
c. Phone numbers and contacts games
i. Dialing wrong numbers (intentionally or unintentionally) and fucking with people
ii. Receiving calls from people you don’t know and pretending to be what/who they’re for
1. “Yes, this is Domino’s…”
iii. Taking your friend’s phone and renaming all of their contacts as Sesame Street characters.
d. GPS Assassins app on the iPhone
2) Hustler Reporting Fail
a. Google Earth was invented in 2005
b. Hustler report on it in 2009 that a Vandy alumnus invented it.
i. Where the fuck were you for the past 4 years?
3) Zeppos = 7th highest paid pres. of a university (Dibs, Steven Levan)
a. What happened to budget cuts?
b. #1 is from some random-ass school, which is ranked #42.
4) John Cabot University ad in the Hustler = ad for Vandy Lite! (FAKE AD)
5) The Slant is very disappointed by the lack of skanky costumes at Halloween this year.
6) Vandy Escort Service Team (VEST) (Dibs: DAN KING)
a. Blue lights for a walking guide home get changed to Red Lights.
b. Hookers on demand → lines form around posts
c. On the card. Sign-up online to avoid the line!
7) WGS / LGBTQII / Vandy Athletics is now all rolled into one department
(Dibs: ANDREW LIGON)
a. Maybe things will improve when viewed from the perspective of a lesbian, woman, former softball player, who just so happens to gradually rule the entire campus.
“Bonzai” theory of improving the football team
a. “Break them to make them stronger.”
9) Rock Band playoff with the game’s inventor.
a. He is the ultimate fake instrument nerd and single-handedly slays the entire Vandy LAN all-star team.
10) The Slant as a Turducken (because we’re inside of Versus) other Thanksgiving ideas?
11) HighDEAS.com
a. The place for “inspiration”
12) Unexpected T.V. stars that were once military killers (Dibs: RUDY)
a. Drew Carey
b. Mr. Rogers
c. Ice-T
d. Montel
13) Something about the Jay-Z concert
14) i-Berlin Wall 2.0
a. “Shake well, separation is natural.”
b. Of Commons and Communists
c. Hunger Strike / Extreme Buffet eating contests as acts of protest
d. “Care” packages
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STILL UNUSED IDEAS
1) Balloon Boy = real-life version of UP!
i. Not sanctioned by Disney/Pixar
2) “Coexist”
a. …in the name of free food
b. Compose a schedule of when and where to get free food
3) Divinity school publishes their own humor magazine?
4) Retaliating against all bitch-ass RA’s
a. Booze probie can’t drink pains away anymore
b. Bitchiest RA ever
c. Is a puppy-punter
d. Is a baby rapist
e. …but not really
i. Talk about the psychology of people only remembering headlines
5) ATL → Most disappointed(-ing) majors
6) New ASB Sites
f. Guiding Natty Light
g. ASB = “Average” Spring Break
7) “Where the Wild Things Are”
a. Hipster list vs. Preppy List
DA-DA Club?
9) Centerspread Idea 1
b. Horrible movie adaptations of other children’s books
i. “Sin City” overhaul of various Dr. Seuss stories
ii. “Get the Fuck Down, Moon” instead of Goodnight, Moon
iii. The Very Hungry (Bulimic) Caterpillar
10) Football game re-cap from a non-footballin’ perspective
11) Hobo’s, Now on the Card! / Hobo-Cash
12) FML / Texts from Last Night generator formula
13) “B.C.” = Before Commons (students)
a. Story of how the administration just wants to get rid of all us B.C. students
14) Interview with the guy who met last year’s Kissam Hobo in the bathroom
15) Quizno’s Tom Update
a. “Subway Seizure” story
16) Music Group
a. Better Prep for next year’s artist line-up
17) Famous Alumni Interviews
a. Bill Gates
b. Al Gore
c. …
18) Biological Warfare Against the Indians
a. Via blankets via swine flu
b. Swine Snuggies
c. Indian Retaliation
i. Tea Embargos / Blockades
ii. Question the Commodore’s actual maritime credentials
iii. Lack of oranges = scurvy
19) Pop Culture
a. Gentle(man) / Sir GaGa
b. “Dude looks like a lady GaGa”
20) Swine Flu / H1N1
a. (ATL) → “How did the Swine Flu epidemic affect you?”
b. (Possible VTV idea) Disaster movie → 20 hours after exposure, Day 2, Day 3, etc.
21) The Sophomore Slump / Slums
a. Lobby in Vandy/Barnard??
b. (Top 10) Things the new Freshies can thank the Sophomores for…
22) Stereotypical College Kid Posters
a. Examples: End of the War Kiss, Audrey Hepburn, James Dean, Belushi with College sweatshirt (replace his head with Zeppos’), The Joker, etc.
b. (What do your posters say about you?)
23) Sprinklers
a. New Sport – Sprinkler dodging/limbo
b. Feel like James Bond in a stealth movie or Mario dodging fireballs in Bowser’s Castle
c. Wet T-shirt Contest!
24) Squirrels
a. Squirrel on every page doing a different pose
b. Chip and Dale, the adventuring chipmunks make a guest appearance
25) Cougar Column
a. Cougar hunting
