Freshmen Bowled Over by Commons Third Floor Decision

After much consideration and input on behalf of the student body Vanderbilt University has finally decided to transform the unused space of the Commons 3^rd floor into a bowling alley. Earlier this week Chancellor Zeppos announced the decision. Some of the possibilities for the space had included an arcade, a second pub, and an NRA certified shooting range. With the arcade being deemed too childish, and the second pub pointless because freshman never drink, it came down between the gun range and bowling alley. While the NRA range was a close second, the Chancellor felt that adding additional armed students might increase the number of crime report emails students receive. Seeing as no one likes those emails, the gun range was voted down. When the student body was asked what they thought about the new addition to the Vanderbilt Campus results were mixed.

One freshman girl was quoted saying that, “the Commons is one step closer to becoming a resort, all we need is a spa!”

A super-senior was reported saying, “Great! One more thing that freshman will get to use that I won’t!”

While the student body seems to be split on the recent decision, it is clear bowling is going to come back with a vengeance around Vandy. Chancellor Zeppos declined to be interviewed, however, one can only imagine the thought process behind such a monumental decision. It may be due to the fact that the Vanderbilt women’s bowling team won a national championship only 2 years ago, or the fact that the state of the Nashville’s bowling scene is in serious decline. Many of Nashville’s more prominent bowlers think that this may be the shot in the arm that the city needs to regain its once prominent status as a bowling mecca.

Like beer pong, frat parties, pre-gaming, tailing gating, and winning at football, bowling is surely soon to be a Vandy tradition.

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